Why your relationship with money matters in financial planning

Published 16 June 2025

When it comes to money, no two people are the same.

Over the years, as a Chartered Financial Planner, I have had the privilege of listening to hundreds of stories filled with resilience, fear, ambition, guilt, pride, and everything in between. Each one is a reminder that our experiences with money run far deeper than numbers on a page.

Your upbringing. Your culture. Your friendships. The messages you heard growing up. All of these things shape your beliefs and behaviours around money.

Some clients tell me they grew up in households where money was openly discussed, spent freely, and always available. Others share memories of scarcity, of watching parents worry, of being told “we cannot afford it,” or feeling guilty for wanting things that cost too much.

Both stories matter. Both leave a lasting impact. And both show up, often quietly, in our adult financial decisions.

The emotional side of money: more common than you think

I often meet clients who, on paper, look like they are thriving.

They earn good salaries, have healthy savings, own property, and invest regularly. But when we start talking about their relationship with money, I hear things like:

• “I feel anxious every time I check my bank account.”

• “No matter how much I earn, I still feel like it is not enough.”

• “I am afraid to spend because what if I need that money later?”

• “I do not know where my money goes every month and it makes me feel ashamed.”

• “I was never taught about money, so I feel stupid asking questions.”
  

These are not unusual feelings. They are deeply human ones.

One client shared a story that has stayed with me. She grew up in a single parent household where money was always tight. Her mum worked multiple jobs just to keep food on the table. Today, that same client earns more than ten times what her mother ever did, but she still cannot bring herself to feel financially secure.

She saves obsessively, avoids spending on herself, and constantly fears it could all disappear. Her income says “abundance.” But her mindset still whispers “not enough.”

That is why I believe the emotional side of money is just as important as the practical side. Because if we do not explore it, we risk creating plans that look great on the surface but never truly bring peace of mind.

Understanding your financial story

Everyone has a financial story. You might not have written it down, but you are living it every day.

It is the story you carry when you avoid looking at your bank balance.
It is the story behind your hesitation to invest, your guilt when you spend, your struggle to talk openly about money even with people you love.

My role is to help you unpack that story. Not to judge it, but to understand it.

Because when I know how you feel about money, what scares you, what motivates you, what memories shaped your mindset, I can offer advice that speaks to you, not just to your spreadsheets.

Tailoring financial advice to fit your life, not just your goals

As a Chartered Financial Planner and Fellow of the Personal Finance Society (FPFS), technical knowledge is a huge part of what I do. But I do not believe numbers alone make a plan successful.

A strong financial plan should reflect your story, your values, your priorities.

That is why I approach planning differently. I will:

• Take time to understand your background, beliefs, and habits around money

• Gently challenge assumptions that may be limiting you, like “I am just bad with money” or “People like me never get rich”

• Include emotional and behavioural factors alongside financial data when crafting your strategy

• Ask not just “what do you want to achieve?” but also “how do you want to feel about your money?”

Because money is never just about money. It is about freedom, safety, self worth, and trust.

Pain points I help clients overcome

Here are some of the real life challenges clients have brought to me, which we have worked through together:

• Scarcity mindset: The constant feeling that there is never enough, even when savings are high

• Fear of spending: Not allowing yourself to enjoy your money, even when you have earned it

• Guilt or shame: Around past debt, impulsive decisions, or feeling behind compared to others

• Lack of financial education: Feeling embarrassed to ask “basic” questions (spoiler: no question is ever too basic)

• Difficulty trusting others with money: Especially if they grew up in households where money was a source of stress or secrecy

• Avoidance: Putting off decisions about pensions, wills, or insurance because it feels overwhelming or emotionally charged

We do not just fix these things with a budget or a pension contribution. We talk about them. We understand them. Then we build a plan that feels aligned and achievable.

Why emotional awareness makes better plans

In financial planning, it is easy to focus on the technical: tax allowances, investment portfolios, retirement projections. And those are important.

But if we ignore how you feel about money—your hopes, your fears, your triggers—we risk creating plans that you will not follow, or that do not bring you comfort.

When emotional awareness is part of the process, we can:

• Calm the fear of “what if I run out of money?”

• Build spending confidence without guilt

• Set goals that genuinely excite and motivate you

• Create strategies that feel flexible, human, and achievable

• Give you a greater sense of control, clarity, and peace

You deserve a plan that fits all of you

Not just your income. Not just your age or your tax bracket. But you, your beliefs, your story, and your dreams.

That is why I do not offer one size fits all financial advice. I offer personal financial planning, rooted in empathy, trust, and a real understanding of your relationship with money.

Whether you are navigating financial uncertainty, managing new wealth, or just starting to take your finances seriously, you do not need to have it all figured out.

You just need to be willing to explore.

Ready to explore your money story?

If you are ready to take control of your financial future, start by exploring your past.

Your story matters. It holds the key to creating a financial plan that truly supports your life, not just your bank balance.

As a female financial adviser committed to understanding and empowering my clients, I am here to help you turn your financial journey into a roadmap for clarity, confidence, and peace of mind.

Let us start by uncovering your unique relationship with money. From there, we will build a plan that fits you perfectly.

💬 Get in touch today to start your personalised financial planning journey.

Let’s build a financial path that fits your life, not someone else’s spreadsheet.

Your Wealth Wingwoman,
Shalini Kanap

P.S. Want to get up to speed with your money? Read these blogs:

• 👉 Do Financial Planners help with budgeting? Taking control of your finances

• 👉 What do Financial Advisers do? How they secure your financial future in the UK

• 👉 Empowering women: Essential financial advice for your financial plan

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